But a year was not enough time… I got to know a wonderful new person, parting will be hard to say the least. Soon I will have to leave you and go back out into the ‘real’ world, and miss you long days of the week. I will treasure our times together more than I now even realize.

My pure love, my daughter… never thought I’d get so lucky…remember me saying that to you over and over when you were first born? “How’d I get so lucky”  Daddy and I called you “Maya Papaya”, because of your spiky hair…

And I sang you to sleep with, “Goodnight sweetheart, I’ll see you in the morning, good-night sweetheart, I’ll see you in my dreams…”

Daddy knew the love would floor him, so afraid.  I knew, but embraced the change…

Why did I used to mock ‘parents’?  Now I am so glad to join the ranks, of those who can love this unselfishly, this beautifully…

The love of a child is the best love their is, (if you are already centered as a individual person, of course)..
The pedophiles are abusing such a precious/Godly state….before the world corrupts us…they hasten the corruption…how sad…
I do not believe in original sin…I believe angels are sent to us, perfect and holy…

The love of a child is pure, heart-melting love, just so vastly different from other types of love… (Romantic, friendship, etc.)
Love of the world and all on it is much more difficult to achieve.
I’ve discovered it is better to love unconditionally, without judgment, without mental good or bad categories, and that mindset does take practice…..
Not to easily anger, to forgive other people for the emotional pain they inflict upon you is sometimes very, very difficult indeed…

But it is so freeing to try and maintain a non-judgmental mindset,
a forgiving mindset,
and an empathetic mind set…

(of people and animals)

To stop thinking of other people as ‘different’ takes work sometime When someone speaks a different language, has a different appearance and demeanor than yourself, it may be difficult to realize that they feel just as deeply as you…

Have you ever been an outsider? You should try being an ‘elective outcast’ if you haven’t already, to broaden your earthly empathy… (I love Goths for this) Walk the streets pretending to be homeless, see how it feels…

Animals have no choice in your treatment of them. Try to imagine yourself as a pet, at your mercy, or a wild animal that crosses your path…
Chances are, that animal has something to ‘show’ you…the concept of animal guides are important in Native American culture and can show you pieces of the puzzle of your life, that you may not have seen on your own…

Loving yourself, allowing love to flow freely to you, can be the most difficult lesson of all…
Smoking cigarettes, most drug and alcohol abuse comes from a lack of self-love…escapism, hating your surroundings and circumstances also…
(Try to change those circumstances, (at least mentally by meditation.)

With addictions of any kind, the body is no longer serving as a ‘temple’, and the brain has surrendered to the ego, (that part of us which compares accomplishments, holds destructive pride, envy, negative emotions…) On an endless task/reward wheel we never find real peace, though that’s what the goal is…

All negativity can be overcome to achieve an Enlightened state of mind,
not necessarily final Enlightenment, (Nirvana),
but the practice of healthy and pure day to day living, maybe some yoga, meditation (it’s easy)…
which is necessary to open your chakras, soul, entire being to true bliss, living Nirvana, which is within reach… Here and Now… You don’t need dogma, you need to unlock what is already inside you…

With a little assistance, all the basics of life are flowing to her from the divine energy of the universe…

…trying to get into everything, crawling so fast, pulling up, going down, working her thigh muscles, working her poor teething mouth, trying out sounds like dada, maam, eee, etc., pointing, she’s changing so fast…

I try not to think about missing her in September, just to cherish all her firsts..

I love seeing through her eyes in such a jaded world…

my daughter is 8 months old….

“My daughter”

I remember your yaya

telling me to say it

in the hospital

Not really believing it yet.

After so long a wait

our souls are united

It seems like only yesterday, you were inside me

Hardly moving, so content

except for the big turn, facing down…

It seems like just yesterday we were bouncing in the pool trying to make “Maya” arrive by her due-date.

So worried that she would be late and we’d have to induce…

We were so lucky Maya and I,

and daddy too…

And the grey cow born on the same day you were

during a mild hurricaine

an auspicious start, I think.

An all-natural birth

am I a total masochist?

“Why?” My women friends ask me.

“Definitely not for me.” I answer.

For the sake of her clarity…

I was exhausted after two hours of hard pushing

but luckily I had an experienced midwife

who knew I could do it…

I could…

And Maya had one eye open, one closed and half-smiled at me, like Budda…

My own personal budda…

How lucky am I?

And she breastfed…

Easy in the hospital, but hard for a couple weeks at home,

and recovering, sitz baths…

Maya is still breast-feeding at eight months,

we’re trying for a year, then maybe just at night…

we’ll see…

no rush my child…

but of late you seem to be rushing yourself…

Trying to talk

babbling, saying, “Dada”

So intent on crawling,

slow down,

we need to finish childproofing.

You focus so well

when I read to you

But love the ‘feely’ books the best.

Trying to feed yourself

Grabbing the spoon from me

When I feed you some organic baby food

I should make you homemade everyday, but you understand when I don’t…

The faces you make, then I say “yummy” and you smile.

You just discovered you love it when I sneeze

We had a laughing fit more than once

God I love to see you laugh!

I love how you trust me…

You can, always.

You are growing up too fast…

be my baby some more…

We have a whole year together

four months of spring and summer left

It will still not be enough…

These marvelous, intelligent, and kind-hearted creatures do this often. They care for their babies intently and for years…They care about people for some reason… They communicate with each other with a real language…

Which is used against them in Japan. Fishermen… Continue

a spider web of Love

reaching out across
this Earth
we rotate on
never centered
always off-balance
Yet we are connected here
…sometimes supremely balanced.

If you need to,

there is no shame

ask for help

find your own
personal Savior
be he your husband
be she your wife
be like Budda
untouched

be of Christ

loving

like…others
so many Touched
by G_D
Unknowable
to us
except through
LOVE

fe… Continue

women and men, in very profound ways.

With the addition of sleep deprivation in our lives,

we are different in our bodies, and brains…

In our spiritual hearts,

we are different people.

We now see through our babies eyes…

We may now feel more part of the cycle of life.

We care more about the next generation.

We care more about the state of the planet.

We may wish to walk down the path toward enlightenment…

As a first-time mom, sometimes I feel like a tree.

Seeds have flown out and in the wind before,

(like the sturdy English Elm outside my window), but none of mine taken root and sprouted…

(I think how interesting we female trees

of a certain age group,

release a seed, an egg

once a month,

like the moon brightens to full…

actually pulling our fluids from us like the ocean tides,

We are so connected to this gravity, this earth!

(Male trees are entirely different!)

Blessings still do happen in this day and age, even though hardly ever on the news…

I should say a bit of a clue,
I knew that the goal was
Enlightenment…

Finding that elusive dream,
Nirvana…
can it be reached?

In this body,
in this life,
in Maya, our world of illusions…

Yes I say,
without hesitation,
the key is within…

Deeply…
finding your soul,
you are half way there…

I now agree with all parents who said: “The love of a child is the best love there is”

(if you are already centered as a individual person, I might add,  gotten all your partying done, have enough resources, etc., are ready to fully love, and are ready to let someone else be the center of attention.)
A child gives you a completely different kind of love. Pure, heart-melting love, just so vastly different from other types of love… (romantic, parental, etc.)

I’m glad I got to experience this in my life. (as well as trying to be the best parent I can be)

…Parenthood is a noble pursuit if done for good motives, (and if your child can add anything good to the world, that’s a bonus).

To really accept that how we live, and thereby teach our children, really matters…

It is a weighty thought.  A new generation on this planet will turn things around or just follow previous generations, depending on our example…

I can only teach my child what I know…

Hopefully, I will teach my child to avoid bad decisions and wrong turns in life.

In the last few years, I’ve discovered it is better to love unconditionally, without judgment, without mental good or bad categories, and that mindset does take practice…..
Not to easily anger, to forgive other people for the emotional pain they inflict upon you is sometimes very, very difficult indeed…

Our hurts, our ‘scars’ become part of us, like tattoos in our ego & soul…

It is so freeing to try and maintain a non-judgmental mindset,

a forgiving mindset,

and an empathetic mind set…

(of people and eventually animals)…

Try to limit ‘meat’ consumption, just think of the animal pre-death. I forgot the statistic, but if just one person quits meat for a whole year, one cow will be saved. That hooked me.

To stop thinking of other people as different, takes work sometimes…

when someone speaks a different language,

has a different appearance and demeanor than yourself,

it may be difficult to realize that they Feel just as deeply as you…
Have you ever been an outsider?

You should try being an ‘elective outcast’ if you haven’t already, to broaden your earthly empathy.

Even for a day, 4 hours, walk around like you are homeless, pretend you have no car, no place to live for a whole day, no money for food…see how it feels, or just imagine now…

Animals have no choice in your treatment of them. Try to imagine yourself as a pet or a wild animal that crosses your path…

Chances are, that animal has something to ‘show’ you…the concept of an animal as a spirit guide is important in Native American and tribal African culture, and can show you pieces of the puzzle of your life, that you may not have seen on your own…

Loving yourself, allowing love to flow freely to you, can be the most difficult lesson of all…smoking cigarettes, most drug and alcohol abuse comes from a lack of self-love…escapism, hating your surroundings and circumstances also…Change these limiting things in your life…

The body is no longer serving as a ‘temple’, and the brain has surrendered to the ego, (part of our personality which compares accomplishments, holds destructive pride, envy, all negativity…thinking it is us personally, not Spirit)

With practice, all negative thought can be overcome to eventually achieve an Enlightened state of mind…

…then you can feel Love incarnate…

Maya.